Remember

you want to know more about me

whats going on with me

whats "wrong"

i dont know if you want to know

or even if you could bother to handle

my transparency

i often wonder

do you truly care for me

or are you just being nosy



well...stepping out on faith

believing that you truly

are trying to be there

focus on someone other than you



whats going on with me

whats wrong with me



i cant remember his face

and it pains me

so

i take cold steel

against warm flesh

wondering

hoping

praying

thoughts and feelings of pain

sights of blood rushing

from paper thin slices in skin

will cause the flood of memories i seek

it was his arms to which i fleed

when i had a scrape knee

bleed or no bleed



hoped



prayed



cried



hoped



prayed



cried



cause as the blood rushed

line by line

i still couldnt remember his face



i couldnt remember is face



i couldnt remember his face



i cant remember his face



now his memory and name replaced

by scars from paper thin lines

that bled

cause i was just trying to remember his face


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

C.O.C

All that remain are the five scars...
five scars that came from a single blade
She winced in pain as
shiny steel parted chocolate flesh
resulting in a tear drop of blood
she dialed......no answer (again)
line number two
swift was the blade
brief was the pain
more tear drops of blood flowed from her veins
lines three, four, and five
results of many texts......yet no replies
line one....forget he ever touch me
line two.....forget I ever said no
line three.....forget I tried to make him happy and failed
line four.....forget no one knew or cared enough to stop it five.....forget I ever lived
she sits watching five lines cry
tears of blood
That her eyes dare not cry
and all that remains is one life, five lines marked by five scars

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Slow Motion

There are times

when I just want life

to move in slow motion

you know like the movies

where those kisses

last just  a few minutes longer

hugs linger

time practically stops

heartbeats slow

I want a moment

just to enjoy you

to enjoy this

I need a moment

to feel like I belong

to someone

to you

I need you

to hold on to me

to ensure me

I am someone

that

I am

wanted

need

loved

I need life

to start moving

in

slow motion

kisses on the forehead

hugs with no false intentions

just a life

moving in slow motion

where the love

last from minutes and moments

seem to last

for hours on end

I wish

life moved in slow motion

and then

I could spend my life

remembering

minutes

that felt like

hours

when i rested in your arms

just enjoying

being your little girl

All Cried Out

Heart races in her chest

as roughly calloused hands

caress innocent thighs

inside

she cries

and she cries

and she cries

praying her tightly squeezed legs

and intensely shallow breathing

will make him

just this once

turn away

...again...

prayers remain unanswered

eyes tightly shut

racing for a place of solace

searching...

...searching...

searching...

and she finds

the smell of hot cocoa

the blinding white

of sunshine reflecting off white ice

wind in her face

as she races 'round and 'round

the ice rink

try as she might

she can't stay there

the blinding lights dim

the comfort of the scent

and warmth of the hot cocoa

fades further and further away

instead...

she is greeted by the invading scent

of old cologne

and the bottom of a whiskey bottle

with no fight left

she lays

numb to the world

that surrounds her

numb to the forceful thrusting

between her thighs

numb to the sloppy wet kisses

forced upon her lips

numb to the possibility

of the nightly terror never ending

confusion and disgust

greet anger and frustration

as tears refusing to fall

night after night

grown man's calloused hands

caress innocent thighs

and inside she cries

...she cries...

...and she cries...

only on the inside

tears won't fall

tears can't fall

because

she's all cried out

Before I Let You Go...

We both said somethings
that I know we regret
perhaps we both did somethings
we'll never forget
but
before I let you go
please know that my love was real
and this hurt I feel
these tears I'm crying
are the evidence of your
impending goodbye
I wonder if just one more kiss
or one more hug
if you just feel how well
your hand fits in mine
you'll realize
it's not time to call it quits
or throw in the towel
maybe we could try just a little harder
fight
because a love like this
is well worth it
I just wanna regret this decision
sit
alone and broken hearted
wondering what I should have said
before I let you go...